 His legacy |
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Funeral Eulogy from Reverend Robert Rayson
On behalf of Msgr. Wellman, Pastor of Sacred Heart Church, and all my brother priests present, I wish to extend to Debbie, Logan, Seth, Grace, Claire, and baby our deepest sympathies and assure you of our prayers, love, and support.
We gather in sadness, shock, grief, and bewilderment as we mourn the death of Mike. As we offer this mass for him we stand at our own Good Friday. Yet we know that Good Friday is never the end of the story. Just as Christ rose from the dead on Easter Sunday, we now entrust Mike to the mercy and love of God in the hope of the life that is to come.
We find much comfort in today's gospel. The Lord tells us that"everything that the Father gives me will come to me and I will not reject anyone who comes to me...And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should not lose anything of what he gave me, but that I should raise it up on the last day."
Our faith and hope is in eternal life. Heaven is not some pie in the sky dream or wish. It is a reality. Christ calls us to his eternal life. We entrust Mike to that promise of eternity.
As we mourn the loss of Mike, we remember his life and all the good that he has done.
We remember a loving husband and father. His family was his life. His free time was for his family and his concern was always for them. He was a quiet man and he lived simply. He never bought things for himself---He was more concerned about taking care of his family. He loved to play basketball and he loved to spend time with his extended family as well. He was also a dedicated Moline Police Officer with the rank of Detective Sergeant. Among his duties, he was a liaison to the High School and Middle School. His presence and interaction with the students had a positive impact on those who encountered him. He was proud to be a police officer.
I had the privilege of baptizing his children Seth, Grace, Claire, and Emma. I experienced his good nature and generosity in his willingness to come to the parishes of my previous assingment to assist me with some projects. He was a good man who was always thinking about others.
Today, although we are steeped in sorrow, we find hope in Christ. For our God is a God of endless mercy and compassion. The greatest attribute of God's love is his mercy. God alone knows the human heart. God alone knows one's state of mind and he also knows when one struggles or is in difficulty. And in His mercy, he reaches out and touches the human heart. He calls Mike to himself in His mercy. Remember the words of today's gospel,"I will not reject anyone who comes to me." Mike's good deeds go with him to the Lord.
Trusting in God's mercy and compassion, we entrust Mike today to the loving arms of our Savior. Let us pray for Mike and let us pray for his family, friends, and co-workers. May the Lord grant him eternal rest. And may he bring His peace and comfort to those who are left behind. And until we see Mike again, we entrust him to the Lord in the beautiful words of the old Irish blessing:
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
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Funeral Eulogy from Mike's Wife, Debbie
I just want to make sure everyone knows a little bit about who Mike was. When I met him he was 25 and he would buy flowers, movie tickets and a gift certificate to a restaurant for his mother on Mother’s Day….he would get a movie and go to his parents’ house to watch it with them…he would care for his sick 19 year old sister at the time like a father getting her pillows and blankets and literally tucking her in, along with driving to get her Cranberry juice and medication when she was sick. I made a questionnaire when I first met him and asked what his life long goal was. He answered “staying committed to my family and being a good father and husband”. Family was all he cared about and he never changed.
Mike would buy me gifts constantly and go into his room, light a candle and leave the gift on the bed because I was so embarrassed opening gifts in front of people. He would have Logan stay the night at his place if I was working and would put Logan’s towel in the dryer for him so it was warm for when he got out, then set up a tv tray with Blue’s Clues on the tv and bring in a blanket, wrap him in it and have him sit in the recliner so he’d be warm while he ate his oatmeal and watched tv before school. I really could not believe he was for real. He did nothing for himself. He would look at me and if I started crying about something his eyes would fill with tears feeling for me. I always felt such unquestioned love, such tremendous ultimate devotion from him. That’s who he was to me, his family, and most of all his children.
Mike had five children: Logan whom he called Bucka and spent so much time playing with when he was little and later would take to movies and Starbucks just to remind him he loved him. He taught him to always be respectful to girls and to me, your actions not words show who you are, and tried to teach him money wasn’t everything—that’s why I stayed home from working.
Seth, his little Buster-brown or “Bust” or Sethie Boy: He is a spitting image of Mike. He had endless light saber fights with him, would sit down and watch Power Rangers and Justice League shows with him reciting the introduction to the show along with him. He would lie down with him at night before he went to bed after reading him a book to talk. And Sethie loved playing jokes on him, making sure Mike goet into the shower first and then pouring a cup of cold water on him and laughing hysterically over that. Mike would never yell—never get mad. He was always so calm, so collected with us.
His Gracie girl, Punkin Poo Gracie, B-doo: He would always tell her her hair was spun into gold just like Rumpelstiltskin. He would say she had the softest most kissable cheeks, and tell her she had eyes like blueberries like her mama. He wrestled with her all of the time and loved making her scream as he ran around on all fours chasing her. He read to her too and laid down with her and talked to her about her favorite things before she went to bed.
Then there was Clairey-bell, or tinkie winkie: She is the skinniest little thing and he would scoop her up all the time and tickle her and kiss her. He would play alligator downstairs chasing her, having the cushions on the couch be lily pads and “base”. He would read books to her all day long on his days off and then again at night.
Last but not least Emma Chunky. He would do rollee ups with her kissing her belly making her laugh and put dress up dresses on her when she would bring them to him. He would read her many books and hold her and rock her endlessly.
Needless to say Mike loved his family.
Which brings me to Mike’s death. You see, the Mike I’ve described would never do this to his family. This is the Mike he was all of his life up until about a month and a half ago. At that time, beginning with stress, depression set in and began bringing him down. It caused him to slowly withdraw from everyone, little by little to the point where he really wasn’t with us anymore. He would walk around the house constantly thinking about deep thoughts and was off in space-- with us physically, going through the routine, yet never really having any emotions at all. You can imagine how this impacted us, and we tried to talk through everything, but this time, though we could usually always agree with each other on everything, Mike’s rational side was gone replaced by negativity, lack of hope, and the feeling of falling deeply in a hole he couldn’t get out of. His mind was taken over with this, and the depression prevented him from working through anything. On Sunday, the night before he passed away he was upset telling me how he was trying SO HARD to remember how he used to feel about life, but he couldn’t get there. He had started depression medication approximately 7 days before he died and though he’d heard the success stories, even they could not reach him and he was still doubtful it would help him. They say it takes at least 10-14 days to kick in.
I’m telling you these personal things because of a posting on the website that I saw. The gentleman did not know Mike but this is what he said:
“Depression is an illness that many are uncomfortable to talk about, yet it affects so many silently... I don't know if he had this or not, but I know I have, and it isn't a choice, it takes over you... It is hard for men to deal with this and I hope that if it is the case that he had depression, that people talk about it and learn from it, because it is treatable.... No one knows what depression is unless they have experienced it... No one knows what went through his mind. Please address the depression/mental illness component if this is it, because we live in a nation of denial about this... It is like a silent killer.... Mental Health is just as important as physical health.”
This is so true and I urge anyone out there, especially officers with the stresses you have, if you begin feeling this way, get help. It does not mean you’re weak. Mike said to think of it like you have cancer. I agree because you cannot help having it, yet you need medication to help it go away. It prevented Mike from caring and from feeling for anyone. If he could feel for any one of his family members for even a moment, he could not have done what he did.
I am trying to remember only the blissful times we had before this happened. It truly was so very easy being married to Mike. I felt without a doubt we would be married into our old age. There was never a question, never a fight. No one out there can compare to him. I miss him and ache for him terribly and look forward to being able to hold him again in heaven.
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Eulogy from his Wife
How I miss you, my Mikey…
Mike was above all a family man. When I met him he was always doing something with or for his large family and after we were married his children were his entire life. He accepted his one stepson with open arms and vowed to forever treat him as his own which he did and then some. He was a teacher about morals, priorities, politics, religion and so much more for me. His wisdom changed who I was and is responsible for who I am today. He truly, deeply loved each and every one of his family members and showed all of us he did through his actions daily. (“Look at your actions, not words!”)
His sense of humor was endless. He was always joking and always made all of us laugh. It would annoy Logan that even the smallest joke of Mike’s would make me laugh. Logan wouldn’t think it was funny, but I truly, genuinely did EVERY time because he always knew what I thought was funny, and could always make me laugh.
He got so much enjoyment out of his children “Bucka”, Buster Brown (Bust) or “Sethie-boy”, Punkin Poo Gracie or “Bi-doo”, Tinkie Winkie or Clairey-bell, and little Emma Chunky. My how it saddens me to never here these cute little names come from Mike again. He wanted so much for them and was so concerned about always reading to them every night, sometimes individually. They are all so proud of their daddy and love him so dearly…miss him so much already. Kisses kisses kisses and hugs to him up in heaven, all day long they give.
Religion was so strong in Mike’s life. That is another factor that strongly attracted me to him. He attended mass almost every week even through college and went to confession if he didn’t before he got communion again. He was so honest, so sincere, so very easy to love, so giving, so in-touch, so helpful, so caring, so responsible, so organized, so committed, so Michael. I ache for just one more day with him. He was my best friend, my hero, my soulmate, my everything.
I miss him so very much…
Kisses kisses hugs and more kisses toyou Mikey—you’re with me always and if I could only raise your children to be half the person you are, the world will be such a better place.
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Eulogy from his Step Son
Mike was the most loving husband to my mother and an amazing father to me and my siblings. It is still a shock to me, just like it is to everybody else. I will never forget how much of a selfless person he was to everybody. He would never buy anything for himself except for an occasional pair of running shoes. He was a family man above anything else. He would never go out alone or with his friends, he was always at home with us playing, and laughing with the kids. He always seemed happiest at home amongst our large family.
If Seth ever had anything to ask him about Power Rangers or Star Wars, Mike always knew the answer to the question. As for Grace, he would always lay down in her bed to help her get to sleep and stay there until she was asleep. Claire, he nicknamed "his little froggy girl", she had so much fun playing with him and jumping on him and wrestling. As for Emma, she loved having Mike hold her all the time and giving him little kisses.
He will be missed terribly, I love you Mike.
Your Son, Logan
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Eulogy from Mike's sister
Whenever anyone would ask me who my best friend was, I would tell them I had three....my brothers and sister. Mike was truely one of my best friends. He spoiled me when I was a little girl and kept spoiling me as I became an adult. He taught me how to love and how to put people before myself. Mike was the most selfless person that I have ever known. He always wanted me to be happy and he did everything he could to make sure that I was, even if that meant sacrificing his own happiness for the time being.
As we got older, I saw Mike do this for his wife and kids. Always putting them first before himself. He gave them so much love and always wanted them to be happy. My nephews and nieces will always have that piece of him that will never be lost or forgotten.
I believe that your siblings shape who you become as a person. I would not be the person that I am today with out my Mike in my life. I wouldn't love the way that I do or have married the person that I did, without his influence on my life. I have been truely blessed to have had such a wonderful person in my life for the past 28 years.
I miss my big brother, my confidant, my best friend..... I love you Mikey.
Jennie
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Eulogy from his Brother-in-Law
Mike was a wonderful example of a father and husband. I watched him with his
kids...playing, laughing, parenting and loving them with his whole heart. I
remember going to dinner with Mike and Debbie the very first time he introduced
her to us. He had found the love of his life. He showed his love by always
putting everyone else before himself.
I will always remember the front-yard basketball games (especially when I was
lucky enough to be on his team) and the trips to the boundary waters (when Mike
and I went thru the rapids...backwards). But most of all, I will attempt to
take something good away from this tragedy and try my best to emulate him as a
father.
I will miss you Mike.
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Eulogy from Mike's Sister-in-Law
Mike is such a special person, and I will miss him so much. Mike had such a great sense of humor, and such a great way of articulating his humor. I always enjoyed being around him and hearing his take on whatever issue was being discussed.
I remember when Mike and Debbie met, and Mike was smitten. They have been a beautiful couple, and have created a very special family. Mike was always there for his family, and was a very loving person to everyone in his life. I was always amazed that when we would see Mike at family functions, he would take my daughters and hold them and play with them. Even with all of his children to attend to, he still would take time to show love to our children. It was a very special quality of Mike's, and one that I will not forget.
My favorite memory of Mike that I will hold with me is one of his sweetest quirks - at Christmas, we all go to several houses for celebrations. With all of Mike and Debbie's children, you can imagine all the presents that go home with them! Mike would bring his camoflauge snowsuit with him so that when the night was over, he could load up all the presents in the back of his van without getting cold. I would always tease Mike when the evening came to a close and I would see him climbing into that snowsuit. It just cracked me up!
Mike was my husband's best friend. Jerry looked forward to talking to Mike. They had a special bond by both working for the City of Moline, and it comforted me to know that if Jerry needed someone to diffuse with, Mike understood the types of things Jerry went through on the job.
Mike, Jerry and I will miss you deeply.
Love,
Natasha
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