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Mike was an outstanding police officer, and a loving husband, father, son, and brother. He worked hard to provide for his family, and enjoyed spending time with his beautiful wife and children. He was a role model on the job and off, and will be missed by everyone who knew him. In lieu of flowers, the family has asked that memorials be sent to "The Mike Sottos Memorial Fund" at the IH Mississippi Valley Credit Union. The fund will be used for his family. Eulogy from his wife, Debbie, as read by her at Mike's Funeral: I just want to make sure everyone knows a little bit about who Mike was. When I met him he was 25 and he would buy flowers, movie tickets and a gift certificate to a restaurant for his mother on Mother’s Day….he would get a movie and go to his parents’ house to watch it with them…he would care for his sick 19 year old sister at the time like a father getting her pillows and blankets and literally tucking her in, along with driving to get her Cranberry juice and medication when she was sick. I made a questionnaire when I first met him and asked what his life long goal was. He answered “staying committed to my family and being a good father and husband”. Family was all he cared about and he never changed. Mike would buy me gifts constantly and go into his room, light a candle and leave the gift on the bed because I was so embarrassed opening gifts in front of people. He would have Logan stay the night at his place if I was working and would put Logan’s towel in the dryer for him so it was warm for when he got out, then set up a tv tray with Blue’s Clues on the tv and bring in a blanket, wrap him in it and have him sit in the recliner so he’d be warm while he ate his oatmeal and watched tv before school. I really could not believe he was for real. He did nothing for himself. He would look at me and if I started crying about something his eyes would fill with tears feeling for me. I always felt such unquestioned love, such tremendous ultimate devotion from him. That’s who he was to me, his family, and most of all his children. Mike had five children: Logan whom he called Bucka and spent so much time playing with when he was little and later would take to movies and Starbucks just to remind him he loved him. He taught him to always be respectful to girls and to me, your actions not words show who you are, and tried to teach him money wasn’t everything—that’s why I stayed home from working. Seth, his little Buster-brown or “Bust” or Sethie Boy: He is a spitting image of Mike. He had endless light saber fights with him, would sit down and watch Power Rangers and Justice League shows with him reciting the introduction to the show along with him. He would lie down with him at night before he went to bed after reading him a book to talk. And Sethie loved playing jokes on him, making sure Mike got into the shower first and then pouring a cup of cold water on him and laughing hysterically over that. Mike would never yell—never get mad. He was always so calm, so collected with us. His Gracie girl, Punkin Poo Gracie, B-doo: He would always tell her her hair was spun into gold just like Rumpelstiltskin. He would say she had the softest most kissable cheeks, and tell her she had eyes like blueberries like her mama. He wrestled with her all of the time and loved making her scream as he ran around on all fours chasing her. He read to her too and laid down with her and talked to her about her favorite things before she went to bed. Then there was Clairey-bell, or tinkie winkie: She is the skinniest little thing and he would scoop her up all the time and tickle her and kiss her. He would play alligator downstairs chasing her, having the cushions on the couch be lily pads and “base”. He would read books to her all day long on his days off and then again at night. Last but not least Emma Chunky. He would do rollee ups with her kissing her belly making her laugh and put dress up dresses on her when she would bring them to him. He would read her many books and hold her and rock her endlessly. Needless to say Mike loved his family. Which brings me to Mike’s death. You see, the Mike I’ve described would never do this to his family. This is the Mike he was all of his life up until about a month and a half ago. At that time, beginning with stress, depression set in and began bringing him down. It caused him to slowly withdraw from everyone, little by little to the point where he really wasn’t with us anymore. He would walk around the house constantly thinking about deep thoughts and was off in space-- with us physically, going through the routine, yet never really having any emotions at all. You can imagine how this impacted us, and we tried to talk through everything, but this time, though we could usually always agree with each other on everything, Mike’s rational side was gone replaced by negativity, lack of hope, and the feeling of falling deeply in a hole he couldn’t get out of. His mind was taken over with this, and the depression prevented him from working through anything. On Sunday, the night before he passed away he was upset telling me how he was trying SO HARD to remember how he used to feel about life, but he couldn’t get there. He had started depression medication approximately 7 days before he died and though he’d heard the success stories, even they could not reach him and he was still doubtful it would help him. They say it takes at least 10-14 days to kick in. I’m telling you these personal things because of a posting on the website that I saw. The gentleman did not know Mike but this is what he said: “Depression is an illness that many are uncomfortable to talk about, yet it affects so many silently... I don't know if he had this or not, but I know I have, and it isn't a choice, it takes over you... It is hard for men to deal with this and I hope that if it is the case that he had depression, that people talk about it and learn from it, because it is treatable.... No one knows what depression is unless they have experienced it... No one knows what went through his mind. Please address the depression/mental illness component if this is it, because we live in a nation of denial about this... It is like a silent killer.... Mental Health is just as important as physical health.” This is so true and I urge anyone out there, especially officers with the stresses you have, if you begin feeling this way, get help. It does not mean you’re weak. Mike said to think of it like you have cancer. I agree because you cannot help having it, yet you need medication to help it go away. It prevented Mike from caring and from feeling for anyone. If he could feel for any one of his family members for even a moment, he could not have done what he did. I am trying to remember only the blissful times we had before this happened. It truly was so very easy being married to Mike. I felt without a doubt we would be married into our old age. There was never a question, never a fight. No one out there can compare to him. I miss him and ache for him terribly and look forward to being able to hold him again in heaven. Eulogy Mike's brother, Jerry, as read by him at Mike's Funeral: First of all, I would like to thank everyone for the love and support that you have shown to our entire family. Whether you have brought a meal, offered a kind word on the website, or just called to tell us you are there for anything we may need, it has helped make this process easier. I would like to thank the Moline Police Department for all they have done and will continue to do. If you knew Mike you would understand that he was not himself that terrible night. He would never want to make his family and friends worry for so many hours. Mike was taken over by a disease that I may never understand. Mike had so much to live for. Over the last two months, Mike started to become depressed. At first he was a little withdrawn. As time went on he lost weight and we began to see that he was not his happy self anymore. His family talked to him for hours on end. We thought he was getting better, but Mike was in such a deep hole no one could help him. Mike never talked of suicide – he would not want to worry us that he was contemplating something so drastic. Mike has seen things working as a police officer that no one should see. He dealt with cases that the public has no idea that police deal with. He had lost faith that people can be changed. He did not even think he was helping them. The hundreds of people who came to yesterday’s visitation and visited the memorial website is a tribute to how wrong he was. He has touched so many lives. He has left a hole that can never be filled. Mike was my best friend. Growing up we would spend hours playing whatever sport was in season and then play basketball until mom would call us in. We had a great childhood with parents that loved us and a family that was always there for us. Whether it was Grandma Sottos watching over Mike at the high school or Grandma Evanoff making more food that he could possibly eat during his lunch breaks, Mike has always had a loving family. We enjoyed our trips to the boundary waters with dad and mom’s passion at basketball games. Mike was always being fouled ……and he never ever traveled! I remember the times we would pick the lock on Angie’s bedroom door to get at the freshly baked cookies she had hidden. We would eat them all…Dad helped. Mike was always looking out for Jennie. In the middle of the night, I would often wake up in the room we shared in the basement all alone. I would go searching for Mike and find him sleeping on Jennie’s floor. Mike claimed that Jennie was scared and needed him. But I would like to think that Jennie was looking out for him, too. Mike was a husband too good to be true, a father everyone should have, a son you would be proud to raise, and a brother I don’t know how my sisters and I will do without. I love you Mike. Here is a poem that was sent to our family that has helped me. For Me Do Not Cry Don't judge me for how I left this world, remember the love that I gave. A lot of grief will follow me, for the decision that I have made. Changes appear in everyone's life, some good, some bad. The one that I chose for myself made everyone sad. But in time, memories will heal the hurt of hearts and my presence will be felt by all with an inner peace. Remember me when the sun is bright and laughter fills the air, and a moonlit night, and whispers of wind will tell you that I am there. Don't look down on my family or fill their hearts with blame. For my leaving them without good-byes, they will never be the same. If I could go back in time, I would say a last good-bye, I'd tell them to look to tomorrow and for me…do not cry. Poem by Connie Phillips 1987 You will be in our hearts forever. I love you, Mike. Eulogy from Police Chief Gary Francque, as read by him at Mike's Funeral: My friends, we’ve gathered here this morning not only to mourn the loss of our dear brother and family member, but also to remember what Mike Sottos was to all of us. Over the last several days we’ve heard countless testimonials from family members, friends, and associates about what a caring selfless person that Mike Sottos was. Everyone knew Mike as a good and decent man, as a devout Christian, and a dedicated family man. His fellow police officers and work associates were also blessed to know that same person. Mike is well known throughout the law enforcement and school community as one of the most dedicated, caring and respected professionals that anyone had worked with. He was a model police officer. Mike Sottos began his career with the Moline Police Department in May 1995 at the age of 22. He had previously attended Saint Ambrose University, and had graduated, with honors, from Western Illinois University with a degree in Sociology and a Minor in Law Enforcement. Mike went to work as a youth counselor at Arrowhead Ranch until we were fortunate to get him. We recognized early on that Mike was going to be an outstanding police officer. He was everything that we were looking for in an officer. He was bright and caring and dedicated; a responsible young man of the highest integrity. Mike soon developed excellent policing skills. He was a knowledgeable and street smart officer, who had a very personable demeanor, and a calm, respectful approach with people. Mike was appreciated and respected by citizens and suspects alike. Mike was a delight to work with. He always seemed to have a positive attitude and a good sense of humor. He was very well liked and respected by his coworkers. After only three years on the job. Mike was selected to be a Field Training Officer. He was everything that we were looking for in a Field Training Officer. A peer leader and a role model who genuinely cared about his trainees. We soon found that Mike’s ability to work well with young people made him the perfect choice for the position of school liaison officer, and he was selected for the position of liaison officer at John Deere Middle School. The students and staff loved Mike. He was praised for the calm and caring way that he dealt with students and staff. Mike was chosen by school officials to receive the John Deere Moline School District Business Education Partnership Award; awarded to staff members who go above and beyond their duties to provide a better learning environment for students. Mike’s outstanding reputation at Deere led to him being selected as the Moline High School Liaison Officer. High school officials described Mike as being an exceptional liaison officer, having exceptional skills in dealing with students and adults as well. Our district superintendent praised Mike as a “positive role model for students and staff”. Mike continued to develop as an outstanding officer and in August 2004 he was promoted to the rank of Sergeant. He returned to uniform as a shift Sergeant and he excelled there as well. His supportive supervisory style soon gained him the respect and admiration of his fellow officers. In January 2006 Mike was selected to supervise the Juvenile Crimes Section, returning to his passion for helping kids and families. As Juvenile Sergeant, Mike was especially concerned about protecting children from victimization and gave so much of himself to that effort. Mike Sottos was one of the most outstanding police officers in our organization, and was well respected and well liked by everyone that he touched. He has contributed so much to the organization, and to our community. Mike was such a great guy, so it’s been so difficult for us to understand Mike’s death. We’ve struggled to understand how this could happen to such a wonderful person, who seemed so happy, and seemed to have it all. We know now that Mike was a tragic victim of the illness of depression. Depression is a dangerous illness that can distort reality and mask any hope of recovery for its victims. Perhaps Mike was struggling with the heavy burden of our role as law enforcement officers. Those law enforcement officers here know this burden: The burden of dealing with the pain and suffering of others; The heartbreaking victimization of children; The hatred and violence that we are expected to deal with: The relentless workload, and; The frustration of trying to achieve justice in our society. All of us in law enforcement struggle to survive this burden. But, perhaps Mike was such a caring and selfless person that he could not harden himself enough against this burden. We have all agonized over Mike’s death, wondering if there was something that we could have seen, something that we could have done. We have wished so much that we could have him back again for another chance to save him. But, we can’t. What we can do is remember Mike Sottos as a hero who died in the line of duty; struck down, not by a criminal assailant on the street, but by an adversary just as dangerous and deadly; depression. What we can do is remember what a wonderful person that Mike was, and what a positive influence he had on so many people. We can remember what an outstanding, respected police officer that he was. We can remember what a loving husband and father that he was. We can remember what a cherished son, brother, family member, and friend that he was. Perhaps the most important thing that we can do is to take over for Mike. I believe that Mike hoped that his coworkers would pick up the load and carry on as he had done so many times. I believe that Mike prayed that his family and friends would surely watch over one another after he was gone. I believe that Mike is counting on us to fill the void of his absence. We shouldn’t let him down. We’ll always remember Mike, and we’ll always miss him. May God bless you, Mike. See you in heaven. Eulogy from Reverend Robert Rayson as read by him at Mike's Funeral: On behalf of Msgr. Wellman, Pastor of Sacred Heart Church, and all my brother priests present, I wish to extend to Debbie, Logan, Seth, Grace, Claire, and baby our deepest sympathies and assure you of our prayers, love, and support. We gather in sadness, shock, grief, and bewilderment as we mourn the death of Mike. As we offer this mass for him we stand at our own Good Friday. Yet we know that Good Friday is never the end of the story. Just as Christ rose from the dead on Easter Sunday, we now entrust Mike to the mercy and love of God in the hope of the life that is to come. We find much comfort in today's gospel. The Lord tells us that"everything that the Father gives me will come to me and I will not reject anyone who comes to me...And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should not lose anything of what he gave me, but that I should raise it up on the last day." Our faith and hope is in eternal life. Heaven is not some pie in the sky dream or wish. It is a reality. Christ calls us to his eternal life. We entrust Mike to that promise of eternity. As we mourn the loss of Mike, we remember his life and all the good that he has done. We remember a loving husband and father. His family was his life. His free time was for his family and his concern was always for them. He was a quiet man and he lived simply. He never bought things for himself---He was more concerned about taking care of his family. He loved to play basketball and he loved to spend time with his extended family as well. He was also a dedicated Moline Police Officer with the rank of Detective Sergeant. Among his duties, he was a liaison to the High School and Middle School. His presence and interaction with the students had a positive impact on those who encountered him. He was proud to be a police officer. I had the privilege of baptizing his children Seth, Grace, Claire, and Emma. I experienced his good nature and generosity in his willingness to come to the parishes of my previous assingment to assist me with some projects. He was a good man who was always thinking about others. Today, although we are steeped in sorrow, we find hope in Christ. For our God is a God of endless mercy and compassion. The greatest attribute of God's love is his mercy. God alone knows the human heart. God alone knows one's state of mind and he also knows when one struggles or is in difficulty. And in His mercy, he reaches out and touches the human heart. He calls Mike to himself in His mercy. Remember the words of today's gospel,"I will not reject anyone who comes to me." Mike's good deeds go with him to the Lord. Trusting in God's mercy and compassion, we entrust Mike today to the loving arms of our Savior. Let us pray for Mike and let us pray for his family, friends, and co-workers. May the Lord grant him eternal rest. And may he bring His peace and comfort to those who are left behind. And until we see Mike again, we entrust him to the Lord in the beautiful words of the old Irish blessing: May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen. |
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Click here to see Mike Sottos's Family Tree |
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His legacy| Bring the memories home by publishing your online memorial as a genuine hardcover keepsake |
| This memorial website was created by Logan Nolin on 08/02/2006.
click here to contact Logan |
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